Overcoming Our Inner Obstacles

Resilience in the face of obstacles and challenges is the key to long-term happiness and physical health. We can boost our creativity and confidence from within with some healthy stress so long as we feel in control of what is happening. In other words, we don’t have to be “fully in control”, but we do need to be able to redirect our attention toward what is within our control. 

In our society, lockdowns, restrictions, and remote working arrangements have created an environment in which we have grown sedentary in our daily lives and work. It may seem insignificant, but our e-motions, energy in motion, require movement and relaxation to reset and release tension.  When we lack this, we become a boiling pot of stress energy and overwhelm that makes it difficult to function normally, focus, and deal with obstacles, challenges, and conflict on a daily basis. 

I received a call this week from an executive coaching client who was feeling paralysed by a major project. There has been a lot of uncertainty and challenge within his industry, and the pressure to perform for himself and others is at an all-time high with predictions of a global financial crisis creating an underlying lack of safety and security. 

After not sleeping the night prior, his anxiety levels were high and the thought of doing this task for his board was escalating his heart rate and state of fight/flight. Every time he sat down to complete the piece of work, he went completely blank and felt a panic attack coming on, feeling like he didn’t have the ability to finish it. 

He shared all that he was feeling, experiencing, and thinking so that he could understand the validity of it all. His body felt some relief, so we talked about taking focused, aligned actions, one step at a time. 

We discussed asking for a board extension so that he had more time. Although I knew he had a long weekend planned with his family, I asked how it would feel to carry this burden the whole time and how it might impact his presence and time with them. We devised a plan to get this piece of work done despite the mammoth emotional obstacles he was experiencing inside. In spite of the fact that we both knew we had a lot of work to do on what was going on for him, he had only 15 minutes between meetings to chat and so we decided to revisit this in his session the following day and focus on getting this piece done one step at a time in order to get this done. 

We created a simple to follow plan for his day…  he followed it step by step, booking a meeting room to eliminate distractions and getting everything done. As a result, when we spoke that evening, he shared how proud he felt of having overcome these emotional and behavioral obstacles with kindness and compassion. Due to the time he took to FEEL everything that was rising, he felt greater resilience and acknowledgement of all the celebrations and achievements that had occurred that year. 

The problem is, if we spend most of our days sedentary .. moving from bed to chair to couch … we’re going to most likely FEEL the E-MOTION of our day as stuck, depressed, fatigued, overwhelmed, and/or anxious because our day provides no motion for the excess stress or energy.

Imagine pumping up a balloon continuously all day without releasing any air, and eventually it will burst. There is no difference between our bodies and our brains.

There is a constant barrage of input energy, information, thoughts, and feelings bombarding our optic nerves, and this daily dis-ease can often lead to prolonged mental, emotional and physical disease. Daily issues get stuck in our tissues without movement, meditation, mindfulness, or motion to release them. As it builds, we end up tired, exhausted, depressed, frustrated, fatigued, lacking confidence, and well, you know the rest.

Most of what we need is movement, which includes action, emotional observation, acceptance, acknowledgment, and rest for our brains. This might not solve ALL your problems since we also need to talk about any past trauma, disconnection, and dissatisfaction with your life. The more energy you have, the easier this deep dive and change will be, and the more effective our communication will be.

I’m curious … what internal obstacles concerning your energy, mood, and mindset have you noticed rising in the last few years? Is there any way you could add more movement, acknowledgement, validation, and celebration to your day to help you deal with life’s to do list, challenges and any moments when it seems too much? 

Here is the step-by-step OVERCOMING OBSTACLES mission I created for my client, which can also help you in times when you need support, clarity, focus, attention, and action. 

1. Schedule set time today to start whatever the task is you need to complete

2. Notice what you’re feeling especially in your body and breathe through it. If it starts getting too much, take a 5min walk or cuppa break that is tech and distraction free to ALLOW your e-motions to rise and release.

3. Focus on clearly outlined tasks, emails and any fact, figures and logical based pieces of work that need to be done throughout the day. One at a time.

4. Allow allocated quiet space for the work that feels challenging or brings up the most anxiety, overwhelm and emotions so you can also notice what you’re feeling through completing it. We often avoid the work that is the most important or brings up the most uncertainty. It’s also 100% ok to ask for support and help along the way. Sitting with a colleague and talking through questions and challenges with curiosity can make a huge difference in knowing we are not alone and creating more intimacy, trust, and authenticity in our work relationships.

5. Be kind and patient while being very present with the one task, email, and section of work at a time. Observing where your thoughts go and the feelings and returning to writing the facts and each dot point at a time.

6. Celebrate each task you complete and the process you follow to get things done. This creates positive reinforcement to the behaviours you want and reminds you next time “I can do hard things and move through emotional obstacles and challenges when I focus and be present.”

 You’ve totally got this, one step at a time.