I am not naturally one of those humans who enjoys naps, resting or even taking a moment pause. People who know me, know me as the energizer bunny and I use to pride myself on ensuring I was able to complete 4 days of life and work within one. I often found when I did slow down, I’d feel a sense of laziness and guilt; contrasted by a sadness that by staying busy and distracted I somehow knew I was also missing many of the amazing moments rushing through my life.
As I begun to dig a little deeper I uncovered that my desire to keep busy was a highly effective way for me to avoid ‘being.’ The void scared me as it meant feeling pain, grief and discontent. So instead, I would distract myself with work, study, other people’s lives, email, television, and content creation.
Now to the outside world, these probably all seem like quite acceptable distractions, when compared to drugs, alcohol, gambling, gaming, food or sex addictions. Though the busyness and lack of emotional acknowledgement was also burning me out and creating havoc with your nervous system and gut.
When Denise introduced the ‘doing nothing’ exercise to me in our Soul Coaching(R) training many years ago, I found it difficult to understand the instructions. I asked endless questions like “Can I read a book in my ‘do nothing’ activity; can I meditate; can I walk; can I play music?” and with each question i received the same response “Doing nothing, means absolutely nothing.”
I was finally satisfied when Denise shared that it was OK for me to do nothing in a tranquil place in nature. But I still couldn’t quite understand why this exercise was such a foreign concept to me.
There must have been a time in my life when I sat contentedly and did nothing? It soon became clear that I didn’t even have a memory of the last time I relaxed, let alone did nothing. Even my most enjoyable forms of relaxation, like yoga and meditation, were always spent ‘trying, discovering or learning.’ I was never really satisfied with just being me because I didn’t quite know who this was. So, choosing to spend quiet time ‘being’ with my self was quite a scary thought. This was the first time I began to truly comprehend the power I had handed over to the distractions in my life.
Being busy kept me safe because it stopped me from feeling. The more I reviewed past turning points in my life, I came face to face with this pattern of busyness and some how they kept turning up.
When I looked back to a tragedy which had occurred within my family, I realized the ‘busyness pattern’ had led me to stay at work, to figure out what practical steps I could take to help out, but most importantly to keep working and avoid feeling.
In trying to keep control and avoid feeling too much, I was also missing out on what I desired the most: the miracle of connection with myself, and allowing others to really know ‘me’. I had created a safe way of coping with stress and traumatic situations – and that was to keep going, to avoid stopping and never talk about, let alone allow myself to feel how I felt.
I am still quite amazed that one of my greatest lessons on my journey, after years of busily working and studying, would be to learn to ‘do nothing’, to simply be.
Surprisingly, ‘doing nothing’ requires a lot of discipline and commitment as we face the noise from within and chose to honour ourselves, to ‘be with ourselves’. I now happily feel joy at the thought and prioritize being each day.
Yes, there are still days when I notice old patterns sneaking in, when I tell myself that I am too busy to stop, to quest within or to do the activities that bring me the most satisfaction and joy. When this happens, I stop and ask myself “What am I trying to avoid today?”
Something magical and majestic occurs when we enjoy even a short pause and Vision Quest opportunity. It’s like an inner power and light is reactivated and the wisdom, miracles and answers we are seeking arrive, only if we stop long enough to listen.
The easiest way to begin to listen to our inner wisdom and find the truth of our souls purpose and clarity on decisions in our life is not to do more, or read more, it is to become still, and listen.
My invitation this month is to schedule more moments of stillness, questing and BEing this month and notice what you notice arises as you welcome the power of this presence in your life.
AFFIRM: My power is born in the majesty of stillness.
MISSION: Take a moment to enter into the silent, deep place within you. Be still. Let everything go, and focus on what is truly important. Imagine spiraling down into the source of your essence. Breathe deeply. Allow your body to relax into the present moment, the here-and-now.
Kyla Tustin, Soul Coaching® Advanced Trainer
Kyla is an International Soul Coaching® Trainer, Master Practitioner, Energy Healer, and expert on ‘Pressing Play on Manifesting Your Greatest Business, Culture and Life.’ Her deep intuitive wisdom supports you to get out of the way, as you discover how to rise in love with yourself, wake up happy and energised, uncover your unique creative spark purpose, and transform all of this into actionable and successful long lasting results.
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