What is Surrender

I was a busy mom of three kids. They are close in age, and let me tell you I was a MACHINE!  Stocked diaper bag, spare clothes, snacks, toys, music, wipes, and items to handle toilet training emergencies, and this was just to get to the grocery store- which was only about 30 minutes away… and yet.  We would do this undertaking- which is equivalent to moving an infantry division of recalcitrant cats, in order to assure that a healthy, dinner with a variety of foods was prepared by 6 pm, so we could sit down as a family and then onto the evening’s activities, of bath, bedtime reading and sometimes a costumed show- kids!  Being in control became an obsession for me.  You have a cut: I have a bandage. You feel sick to your stomach: I have peppermint essential oil. I was ready.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

I thought I was in charge, I thought I was making all the things happen.  But what I was prepared for was contingencies. I thought that surrender meant lying flat out on the floor while my creative children made peanut butter paths around the house for the dog to lick /follow, and my world would devolve into chaos where I would end up cleaning up the flour in the kitchen with a leaf blower-(happened).

In so many ways so many of us are really hooked in to the idea of control, and the thought of surrender is absolutely unthinkable. I would like to invite you to think again.   I was recently in a conversation with a man from Toronto, and I asked him what he likes to do there.  He gave his answer and said, “I bet you didn’t expect that, did you?”  We both were surprised to realize that the conversation would not have been interesting at all if I already knew his answer.  I have learned a bit about surrender in the last 20 years.

If you want to try a little surrender, watch your use of “should.” If you pull the tab on the zipper, the zip should go up.  If you put a letter in the mail, it should get there. Or should it?  If you give your best friend a bug zapper that looks like a tennis racket, she should be thrilled… or should she? Surrender is watching what happens when you pull the zip, or send the letter or give a gift.

Surrender is not the same a quitting.  Surrender is getting in the ocean and deciding to float.  Surrender is taking your best aim at a desired goal and doing your best to get there and then when you are done, turning around and seeing if it worked. Surrender is not knowing the outcome of a conversation, but having it anyway to see what will be said. Surrender is an amazing way to stay present in a world that is plagued by what I call “time sickness.” (This is probably not my term, but I have used it for so long that I forget which brilliant mouth it came from first.)  Surrender is trusting that there is a great universal force, your own inner guidance that has your back and will see you through and stay by your side no matter how rough things get. But most of all surrender is giving yourself the space for a clear breath to see what happens, and respond to the call of your soul and make the space for magic to come into your life.